Precocious Restaurateur Receives Third Michelin Star
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“I did it all by myself,” said the superstar chef.
For most artists, success and wide recognition remain nothing more than a fantasy drifting away on the shifting horizon. For some, its presence is fleeting and rarely achieved before middle age. For a select few, the craft comes easy, new ideas burst forward like wildflowers, and an entire culture’s definitions and expectations are re-defined for generations. This is exactly what eight year-old chef Jonny Beckett has done for the Baltimore foodie scene in his rapid ascent to culinary superstardom.
Beckett’s newest project, Yummy Foodie Go-Go, is designed with the modern woman in mind, one who is constantly in motion yet doesn’t want to sacrifice the sophistication of a refined palette. Yummy Foodie Go-Go, or Yif GooGoo, as Beckett affectionately refers to the project, earned its third Michelin star this week, winning the scarce approval of ruthless food critic, Abigail Velazquez.
“I’m tired,” said Beckett, before shedding a tear. “I want nap time now.”
With Yif GooGoo, Beckett has pushed the envelope in more ways than one. For starters, the restaurant has nothing resembling a menu. The entire dining experience takes place upon a treadmill to illustrate the mobility with which designed the meal.
“I gotta go fast or else Maddy gonna catch me,“ said Beckett, referring to a game of tag with a classmate. “I think Maddy’s gross… No. I don’t like her. Nuh uh. Nuh uh.”
The appetizer is comprised of a half-dozen frozen peanut butter and jelly bagel bites. For the entree, a grilled thousand-island macaroni sandwich glazed in Elmer’s non-toxic glue. For dessert, six ounces of 87% cacao melted dark chocolate is poured directly into the diner’s open palms, then dashed tastefully with a half-pound of loose sprinkles.
Upon hearing of the eclectic menu choices, notoriously hard-to-please food critic Abigail Velazquez tweeted pointed expletives at Beckett’s family-managed social media accounts. Beckett invited Velazquez to test the food out for herself. She obliged.
“I came in wanting to hate it,” wrote Velazquez in a now viral Baltimore Sun review. “I wanted to knock that goddamn Jonny Beckett off his high horse. But I couldn’t. With dish after dish, I found myself swept away to a sea of flavor, creativity, and unalloyed pleasure rarely achieved inside my wildest sexual fantasies.”
Beckett says he hasn’t read the review yet.
“I can’t read,” Beckett said.
Like all Beckett projects, Yif GooGoo will self-destruct within ninety days of its opening, a testament to Beckett’s near-religious devotion to the Here and Now, following his heart and, more importantly, gut, wherever it leads him.
“Being a chef is fun I guess,” says Beckett. “But really I wanted to be an astronaut. Or maybe a mailman. Yeah. Maybe a mailman.”
